These words are part of a collection of writings from the final months of our ten-year-long journey of delayed fertility. In them, I’m pulling back the privacy-curtain and taking you inside the pages of my prayer journals to give insight to those who have not experienced infertility, and hope to those neck-deep in the lonely-midst of it....
Category Archives: The Last Eleven Months
My eyes blinked open defiantly in the dark two days after returning home from a dream trip to Paris. It was 3:45 am. With the 12-hour time difference between where I just was and where I woke up, the jet lag was winning.
I had been circling Psalm 130’s waiting words for three days. Returning to them. Re-reading them. Digging into them. Unable to shake them. And the next morning, I revisited them once again, this time turning to Charles Spurgeon’s collection of explanatory notes from various pastors, teachers, scholars, and theologians on the chapter. And once again, I found solace in the words.
I had wrestled. I had looked up half a dozen verses on waiting. I had worshipped. And then, I came to stand on my watchtower alongside a waiting prophet. I ended that April morning with Habakkuk’s words, as well as the words of my favorite, tried and true commentators.
These words are part of a collection of writings from the final months of our ten-year-long journey of delayed fertility. In them, I’m pulling back the privacy-curtain and taking you inside the pages of my prayer journals to give insight to those who have not experienced infertility, and hope to those who are neck-deep in...
“to take in, to take hold to contain.” I immediately pictured a child, out of sorts, over-tired, struggling. Then being picked up in the loving arms of the Father in a gentle yet firm hug, holding me tightly as he whispers “It’s ok, I’ve got you.”