I was hoping that this would be a big, celebratory confetti photo with a caption shouting from the rooftops that we had done it, the project was funded. But it’s not. We didn’t make the goal.
Josh and I sat for a few hours last night crunching the numbers, trying to justify an investment to cover the cost of the remaining balance, to push it over the goal ourselves. But it didn’t feel right. As much as I wanted to help it along myself, it just didn’t feel right. So, with puffy eyes, I made the difficult decision to leave it where it was.
It wasn’t until I was laying in bed in the stillness of darkness that leaves you alone with the shouting thoughts in your head that I realized why it didn’t feel right. Forcing this thing over the goal line ourselves felt the same as the idea of doing in-vitro to force a pregnancy in our waiting days. Would it have been an incredible story of God’s provision for getting us to the end goal in both situations? Yes, absolutely. But for us? In our unique story? It wasn’t right. So, last night, I released my grip on the first iteration of this dream of a binder project. And this morning, I poured my coffee and watched the final seconds count down, flashing red, all the way down to the flatline.
This isn’t how things go on social media, right? It’s all picture-perfect, look what I turned to gold, and happy hustle endings. Sure, it feels embarrassing to publicly concede to a failed goal. But it’s not the end of this project. We’ll get it to market somehow, some day.
Thank you for hanging with me these last 30 days! Every dollar contribution, post share, encouragement, and prayer is worth its weight in gold. I’m so excited to look back ten years from now to see where the #quiettimebinder ends up. 😍