Welcome back! You’ve survived what can be a controversial week. I’ve taught through this study a handful of times now, and this week never goes by without in-depth conversation. Oh how I wish I could be a fly on the wall for yours! It was quiet around here last week. I can’t encourage you enough to join the conversation by commenting below. Leave your thoughts. Comment on other people’s thoughts. Let’s cultivate a rich environment as we continue this journey together. Spurring each other on.
I’ve already emphasized my heart for the women for whom the word “wife” brings a piercing sorrow. But I want to bring the point home again about our spiritual Husband. Because the truth is that applies to every single one of us. Married or not. Our Maker is our Husband first and foremost. Whether or not we have the physical counterpart.
As I re-read this Day One for this week, I also remembered another verse from another story. One that nothing to do with marriage. But everything to do with the role of a wife that we’ve been studying together this week. And it was triggered by eight little words that Elizabeth George penned: Indeed, she delights in living in his shadow.
And I thought of a man that was hand-picked by God for a very important task in the beginning of Exodus 31.
He was the man with the holy calling of Chief Superintendent of the whole work of building the tabernacle. (No pressure.) But here’s the most interesting part: Bezalel’s name literally means “in the shadow of God” or “under the special protection of the Most High”. And in those first few verses of the chapter, we see some bare facts:
– who God called
– why He called them
– how He gifted them
– what they were called to do
But what we don’t see? Anything at all of Bezalel’s resume. Nothing of what he did prior to this project, or what he went on to do after. We know nothing of his qualifications. We see nothing of his pride. We see nothing of him using this divinely given position for selfish ambition. He was not craving recognition or desiring to build a name for himself. He was simply content to dwell in the shadow of the Almighty God.
As we chew on this week, preparing to go into next, may we (first and foremost) be like Bezalel. Let’s delight living in the shadow of God first. Because after that? Everything seems to fall into place.
this week in review
What was the overall thing that hit home the most for you this week? Let me know in the comments!
Re-read the Elizabeth George quote at the end of Day One. In what ways are you decidedly stepping back so that your husband (or Husband) may be noticed and honored?
You survived a not-so-pretty, in-depth look at how we can cause our husbands shame. Let’s get a little bit more vulnerable: what is the one thing on that list that leapt off the page at you? Thank goodness for grace, right?
Setting aside every cringe-worthy thing you’ve ever heard about submission and marriage, were you able to look at it in a different light this week?
How did the conversations go with your husbands this week? Or, if you’re not married, how was your prayer time?
The last look at how we are the crowning glory of our husbands. What is an example of a way you’ve adapted yourself to your husband, even though it wasn’t easy?
a peek at next week
We’re about to get into the heart of this study. The meat of it. The parts that I really struggled with through those few years of losing my best friend and staring down the seemingly unending road of delayed fertility. And we’re starting with the topic of contentment.
This study was written in 2011. And even as recently as last year, contentment was still an elusive topic. Because when there is one deeply-rooted, years-long unanswered prayer lingering the depths of your Spirit, contentment is a daily battle.
I was emotional reading the introduction to this week in a different light. Under different circumstances. After coming to the end of myself. And having God breathe new life into my faith and my body. I’m no longer crying. No longer discontent. No longer in want of something I didn’t have but craved so deeply. And even now, as I wait for this sweet babe to be born, I check myself. Because he is not the solution to all this. He is the answer to my prayer, but not the remedy to that soul-tension of unsettled desire. Only God can fill that space. And so I pray again: LORD, show me how, in the midst of this miracle, to still be entirely content with You. Simply content to dwell in Your shadow. Because everything else is just frosting on the cake.
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I’m on Day 5 this morning, and I love this week. Coupled with the 7 day marriage challenge it’s been life changing and fun. We are coming up on our 10yr wedding anniversary the end of the month and I feel so blessed and thankful because that is a rarity anymore. This weeks study opened my eyes to the things I need to work on and I loved how you had us ask our husbands when they feel respected and when they feel disrespected.
On Day 2 the quality that stood out to me was “she is passionate and ill-tongued” (well a few others as well) but what was funny to me is that my hubby said he feels respected when “I treat him as head of the house” so I am in the process of stepping back and watching my tongue and praying about how I can be a better wife the way he needs. I am very sensitive and when I feel wronged I can say some pretty harsh things and always feel regret later. But now I can pray about all these things and get closer and closer to the Lord ❤️
Thanks for this study and being real with us. There’s so much more I’ve felt and learned from this study that has changed me. So thanks again and congrats ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Hi Veronica! Happy Anniversary!! 10 years is a huge milestone – what are you doing to celebate?? It’s interesting the feedback I hear from that question. Most of the time, it seems to spark a conversation between spouses that hasn’t ever taken place before. I love that after ten years, you are still learning things about each other! So special!
So sorry I’m jumping in late with this one. I guess since this marriage thing is 3 months young for us I don’t feel super qualified to really say anything about it. Hahaha.
1) Being that we’re a bit older and set in our ways I want so badly to do things my way (around the house, paying bills, with his daughter, what we eat, how we do the laundry) and I’m learning to step back & let his ways lead…sometimes. 🙂
2) She ruins both the credit and comfort of her husband. Again, being newly married and a very open person I want to be very careful about what I tell friends or family of what we’re going through. I don’t want them to think poorly or wrongly of my husband at all even with the excuse of “I need you to pray about something”
3) I absolutely saw submission differently this week. It actually got me excited to submit to him because in turn he feels built up and respected & our relationship is actually better.
4) I forgot to ask but I’ll try to remember to this weekend when we have some time together.
5) Again, this seems so minuscule compared to what I’m sure we’ll face in the years ahead but being newly married it’s things like tv that we watch, the way he does some things with his daughter, what/where we eat. I do need to hear his thoughts on selling my house (when) and probably be submissive to that. That will be hard. I know there will be bigger hurdles ahead but I’m so glad I am armed with the importance of submission.
This was a great week and very encouraging and informative to help me navigate this new life I’m in.
I found this week so interesting and somewhat eye-opening. In my professional life, I am encouraged to not only give feedback but also solicit & receive feedback on a consistent basis (daily / weekly / monthly / etc..). Feedback has been a constant requirement in my career when trying to promote growth and development personally and professionally (for myself and others).
Amazingly, even though receiving feedback is a staple in my work life, I never thought to sit down and have this type of conversation with my husband. I have to say, when you posed the questions as homework, I was a bit apprehensive to actually ask them to him and receive a response (and maybe even a little more so knowing that I shouldn’t answer back or try to defend my actions).
I took the time to pray on it and asked the Lord for understanding (no matter the response). At lunch the next day, I posed the questions to my husband. I wasn’t sure he would take it seriously and was so surprised that he didn’t take that moment to blurt out things that I do that bother him, but rather he simply asked for time to think about it. He actually spent the entire afternoon thinking about the questions and later that night we had a really great conversation about our marriage and what I had learned throughout the week. He talked about the things that he loves that I do to lift him up and show him respect (some of which I didn’t even realize I was doing), and it was so nice to hear that my actions were notice & appreciated. We also talked about one thing that really bothers him (sometimes putting other priorities (family obligations / work / etc.. before him). Deep down, I knew this was something that I needed to work on. So now, I am praying that I always put the Lord as my #1 and my husband as my #2 (no matter what). All in all, this 2 question assignment turned out to be a great experience!
Hello! I’m late, it’s been a busy week for me. This week’s study pierced my heart because I’m unmarried, never been married at 38. Although I looked at the God as my Husband, it was still tough. I’ve been doing that (God as my Husband) for a while now. During this week an epiphany occurred, however. I was finding myself become resentful, hopeless, like the “husband ” thing was being thrown in my face. But I checked myself and realized my behavior towards my Husband was opposite of what I’ve been studying this week. Thank you, Holy Spirit for preparing me for my husband.
So this week was the first time in the study where i flipped to the start of day one and closed the book immediately. “Are you serious? Marriage?” I had just had the most heartbreaking experincing of saying goodbye to my best friend and boyfriend of five years. it ended with tears and deep rooted love for one another. Its just that the timing is a little off for us right now and we want to collect our thoughts and learn who jesus is wanting us to be. Anyway, that happend right before week four of this study began.
I prayed fervently over this week and begged god to show me how he intends to use this week to reveal himself to me. After a few days of ignoring the study, i released my stubborness unto jesus, held my breath and dove back in. Every time i saw the word husband, i circled it and wrote “jesus”. I cant tell you how powerful that shift was. How eyeopening it was to learn how to submit to JESUS. To learn how i was shaming him. To learn how to honor Him. Etc. It was incredible.
I am walking away from this week with the challenge to lay my life down, fearlessly, in order to live in His shadow. And i don’t use the word “challenge” lightly. It will be. For the last five years of dating my best friend, i have put him in Jesus’ position. I have called on him to love me perfectly and fearlessly, (something i didn’t realize i was doing until we were breaking up. And yes, i was forgiven both my jesus and by aaron.), but those habits that i formed to love aaron higher than jesus are going to take some time to break. The desire to submit to my earthly boyfriend instead of my heavenly husband is there, for sure, but its just going to be a challenging road to fully allow jesus to come in and show me perfect love.
I could use so much prayer from this community and i’m not afraid to ask for it here. If anyone is reading this, i wiuld be honored to know that this is falling on loving ears and that you care deeply enough to pray for a sister.
Thank you for this week. It blew my mind and has given me so many good, good things to pray and oricess over
*******The desire to submit to my earthly boyfriend instead of my heavenly husband was th habit i had formed and its just going to be a challenging road to fully allow jesus to come in and show me perfect love.
Just wanted to clarify!